The giving and receiving of sweet words to fellow classmates happened but once a year — Valentine’s Day. As a kid in elementary school I loved the concept of Cupid, and hoped my arrow would land on my beloved for that year.
I couldn’t wait to painstakingly review my choices of Valentine’s Day cards from the box. Once all were chosen, each was carefully slipped into their little envelope which I carefully addressed in my neatest handwriting. Every classmate received a card, but my best friend received what I considered to be my favorite Valentine card. Then, of course, I couldn’t wait to select the best Valentine card to give my favorite crush.
That’s the time when being young and naive is allowed, heck encouraged … and treasured. But, life has a way of breaking hearts, and life’s harsh realities crash on top of you like waves during a violent storm. So much for boxed concepts of everlasting love and bliss.
If you scratch a little deeper into Cupid’s heart of love you’ll find duplicity — a heart of darkness, otherwise known as inevitability. But whatever word choice you’re comfortable using, the fact is Cupid’s ultimate message isn’t always light and airy. And, it’s under that cloak which has caused the emergence of Love Contracts … in order to pre-empt heartbreak when traveling down the road of relationships.
Really? Who enters into marriage — which is a contract — in today’s world using elementary school concepts of love, besides me? Isn’t that what prenuptial agreements were all about … to be prudent, no?
Sort of, I guess, but those agreements included property and monetary rights in the event a marriage ends in divorce. Love contracts are additional prudent forecasting methods now needed — because they cover behavior and expectations, better known as … lifestyle clauses.
Love contracts dictate a list of do’s and don’ts, and will’s and wont’s between the two parties. Doesn’t sound like much of a party to me; but, remember, I’ve been wrong before. These non-romantic clauses cover everything from weight gain, frequency of sex, date nights, vacation criteria, infidelity, house chores … and on, and on — depending upon what issues would be deal breakers in one’s relationship.
Today, in the United States, upwards of 50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce. While the reasons are many, indeed, I was under the impression “for better or worse” was “The” contractural sentence used in order to cast the widest possible net which included monetary, lifestyle and health woes. Then again, I’m not a lawyer, so apparently, I was wrong.
Something’s wrong all right, and I don’t think it’s me. I heard of covering your bets, but marriage was never a sure thing any more than placing all your chips on Red 32. When the ball lands on another number, what does the croupier do? We all know that answer, I guess the question today is what does the lawyer do?
So, as I see it, the question that needs to be asked isn’t, “Will you marry me?” it’s “Are you willing to ‘Bet the House’ on me?”
I just went through a box of Valentine cards, and Cupid’s arrow just shot me. One reads, “Love is roulette — xoxo”